Sevenly’s campaign this week is for teenager depression. Please check it out, and buy a shirt. They have 4 designs for each gender to choose from!
Dear Imbalanced Together, I have developed a crush on one of my female classmates. The problem with this is that I'm a girl, a Christian, and I'm engaged. This does not compromise my love for my fiancé or the fact that I want to marry him, I'm just not sure how to deal with these feelings. I think about her constantly and dream about kissing her. I wish I could tell someone in real life how I feel. But that can't happen. I don't really have a question, I just needed to tell someone this. Thanks
I’m not sure, so you want to go for this girl or do you want to forget about these feelings? Does the fact that you’re religious and its against your beliefs bother you? We do not choose who we admire or fall in love with. It is perfectly normal to have a crush on someone, even being in a healthy relationship. As you said, it does not compromise your love for your fiancé and you have to remind yourself just that. Crushes come and go, love lasts a lifetime. You might be curious or it could just be admiration. Which is healthy and perfectly human no matter your personal or religious beliefs. Just remind yourself that you are in fact engaged and in love and that you and this girl will never be something more.
We are always here to listen, and I hoped I helped.
- Cheyenne
Thank you, too all the people who have trusted us with your thoughts and allowed us to give you advice and help. I hope it has helped you all. Thank you to everyone who has supported this project in anyway. Whether by buying a shirt or bracelet or spreading the word. You guys are wonderful beings.
Also, thank you to all my wonderful partners. Without them, I would have never been able to answer all the questions.
Lastly, thank you to Dani. She has helped me TONS in this project. Especially the past few months when I disappeared. She is an amazing person and I am truly lucky to have her on my team. Dani, when this project becomes a non-profit, you will be the first person I contact. I want you to be apart of this forever.
Okay, I am done. Thanks!!!
well, i kinda feel lonely, not lonely like i don't have nobody, cuz i do and i'm greatfull for that, i'm kinda you know ''fucked up by society'' and not mentally but phisically, i don't have this ''perfect'' body, i'm not like FAT but i don't have the body i really want... and i think people who don't know me and start judging me, should stop and that's the reason i feel worthless sometimes... and i really don't talk to somebody, i just cry alone in my room like everything's perfect.
First, I am sorry that you feel that way about your body. I understand what you mean about not being “fat”, but not having the body you want. I felt like that for a long time too. My advice would be to start looking at the parts of your body that you do like. If you like your ears, arms, feet, eyes, lips, butt, boobs, etc. pay attention to those things. Stand in front of the mirror and focus on the thing/s you like and say out loud the reasons you like this part/s of your body. The more you focus on the positive the happier you will be. When I started doing this, I started noticing other parts of my body that I liked and started looking at those too. It also helps to dress in a way that accentuates the parts of your body that you like.
I’m also really sorry that people judge you for the way you look. Unfortunately, people will never stop judging you for your body, good and bad. The key is to be confident in who you are. Confidence isn’t always easy, but it is possible. When I was struggling with my body image I started wearing high heels. Every time I put my high heels on, to this day, I feel confident about myself.You could try doing something like that too.
Lastly, find someone you can talk to about how you feel. Even if it is someone on the Internet. Being able to vent and hear the opinion of someone who cares about you will help a lot. You can even message me if you want!
I hope this answered your question / helped with what you are going through. I’m praying that you will be able to see your body in a better light, that people with stop judging you, and that you will be able to find someone to talk to. -Justina
i have never had more respect for a person, a website, an organization, then this one. you have saved my life. and for that, i thank you.
This is such an awesome thing to hear. It makes it all worth it. If you ever need us again, we will always be here.
<3 Dani
would someone be will to talk to me via aim? or yahoo?
Hey! If you send me your aim on my personal blog I can IM you…
my blog is yourstrulydani.tumblr.com
Me and my bf just started dating and he doesn't live too close by, but I usually see him every weekend. I just hung out with him all day saturday then I hung out with my BEST FRIEND on sunday. My bf got so mad I was with my best friend, but i dont get y.. i feel like he's jealous of him. Me and my best friend are superrr close and if my bf has a problem with him then i rlly am thinking about ending it. idk what to do cuz i rlly dont want to leave him..
I think your boyfriend does have a right to be jealous. It’s easy for him to feel like you have a better relationship with your best friend. You’ve probably known him longer and he knows you obviously share a special bond. Competitiveness is in a boy’s nature. I can see how your boyfriend must feel like he’s missing out on whatever you share with your friend. A lot of times in relationships, a person can hope that their significant other will be their best friend.
I don’t think you should have to give up one relationship for another. Maybe it would help if they meet and the three of you hang out together? Or if they have a conversation of some sort? Just so your boyfriend can feel like he KNOWS who you’re hanging out with all the time.
I think you just need to put your priorities straight, which I think you pretty much do. Is your boyfriend worth losing your best friend?
I wouldn’t give up right away though. Try some things to make your boyfriend more comfortable with the situation first. Make sure you have good communication with your boyfriend and find out which part of you hanging out with your best friend truly bothers him.
I don’t know how old you are, but I do know that most times, a relationship at a young age isn’t worth losing close friends.
If you want to talk more you can write to me at my personal tumblr yourstrulydani.tumblr.com
<3 Dani
Just wanted to say thanks for all the stuff you did this year! Happy 2012
Love this! Hopefully we can talk to and give advice to more people in 2012.
-Dani :)
i nvr had a bf my whole life and then a guy finally asks me out and i said yes. when we dated i was so happy and i thought i rlly like him.. so then after a couple of dates he asked me to be his gf and of course i was really happy and said yes. now we've been dating for a month and he just said ily to me.. i thought alot about if i rlly do love him and i realized.. i dont love him, i just love having a bf. i feel like i made a mistake but i cant just end something that just started.what do i do?
You don’t always fall in love. If that were true then everyone you were to date, would be that special someone you’d eternally love. If it makes you happy then continue, but you don’t have to say you love him back. Just be honest with him and say what you truly feel and if he loves you then hopefully he will understand. Its also only been a month so you never know. It also depends on the age, because the younger you are the more meaningless the world love truly holds, due to lack of experience and lust and infatuation.
-Mayra
How can I get rid of feeling like a worthless mess that needs to be punished for being so pathetic? I've tried to be positive, to not give up and listen to the good stuff people keep telling me but it's just not working. Now I'm simply tired of trying and failing, only wanting to hurt myself for being such a mess but even that I can't do right because I'm a coward.
Do you really think so? Because I do not. You’re not a worthless mess, and you don’t need to be punished for anything. Everyone struggles in life. I do too. I act like a complete and utter dick towards the people I love, just because I know I can, and because I know tey’ll stay because they love me. I’m not trying to tell you any good stuff to cheer you up… It’s a phase everyone is probably going through. We all have things to carry we are not proud of. We have to struggle with things we think are our fault, but they’re not. Most of the time it’s society’s fault. I wanted to hurt myself aswell, I even wanted to kill myself as I thought I just couldnt do it anymore. But fact is: you can. i can. We all can. Because it would be unfair to hurt ourselves, to kill ourselves to the people who are fighting to live the life you’re living. It will get better, it takes time. Time can be very painful and time can make you crazy. But time will also heal, and we’re here to help you pass this time.
-Annika
there was this person i really liked ... a week and a half ago i plucked up the courage to ask him if he would like to hang out, he never replied. the next day i found out that he told his friend who told my friend that i was being too 'over eager' (b/c not too long back, i previously asked him the same question). i was SO embarrassed (still am), not to mention really gutted b/c i really liked him and i ruined my chance. whats worse is that we never talk anymore. my qu is, how do i get over it?
We all have those experiences, and its hard to believe. The thing with guys is that they pride themselves in being wanted, and sometimes they dont deem the same affections back. My motto: If I’m not worth their time, then why should they be worth mine. Don’t think about him and just be productive. I find it best to fully immerse yourself in some activity you enjoy or need to get over with. You can always listen to Adele if nothing else helps and sit on your couch watching cheesy romantic comedies. My tip for you love is to put yourself out there 10% and if they don’t show interest to just forget them. So then you don’t come off as too “over eager.” I hope this helps. Some guys just don’t know how to handle strong independent women.
-Mayra
There's something about this guy that I can't get over. He and I used to have a thing together, but we agreed on being there for each other as we care a lot. I mean I still think about all the great memories we used to share before I pushed him away because I got scared. I wish he knew that there's something about him that makes me wish we could've kept going what we had before he moved on to another girl. He's so great that he probably has no idea that I fall head over heels over him so much.
In all honesty I have recently acknowledged the fact that we have to go out there and make it known that we are interested. They say if its meant to be it will be, but what about the part of getting it “to be.” My best advice is to let him know. I’m starting to sound like a cliche, but the only things we ever regret are the things we never did. Take a chance. What is their to lose? Either than your dignity, but we really don’t need that anymore these day as it seems. I wish you the best of luck and I want a report of your move. Good or bad. :)
-Mayra
